Round Three

Yep, we are pregnant again!! This is the third time, but the most beautiful line I've ever seen. I never got a dark line with the two chemical pregnancies. They were the barely there lines that I almost could have imaged. But this baby showed up immediately and I watched in amazement as the line just got darker and darker. The most amazing part...this is how dark the line was in the afternoon after only holding my pee for an hour and a half and drinking a can of soda in that time.

I am only four weeks and I'm very nervous. I'm so scared that this will just end in disappointment once again but at the same time I have a feeling...

I almost feel like it's time, this is finally going to be my baby. I'm going tomorrow to get a test done at the clinic and I think I'm going to call the RE's office and see if they will bring me in to do blood and test my progesterone to make sure that wasn't my problem before.

I promise to keep the updates coming and please keep all crossables crossed that this bean is snuggled in tight and it STICKS!!

RE Appointment

So much has happened within the last week, I have so much to tell you guys. So I decided to grow some balls and finally make my appointment for the RE last Tuesday. Turns out they had a new patient cancellation for the next day...talk about shocked I wasn't prepared to be sitting in the doctor's office that quickly. So I went and did that and I've ALREADY had two other appointments. This doctor's office does not play around. I had an HSG on Tuesday and an ultrasound and phsyical on Wednesday. My HSG was clear (yeay) and it was extremely uncomfortable, but nothing I couldn't handle. It was cool to watch everything fill up with the dye and it definitely brought a sense of relief as I watched that dye spread through my reproductive system. The ultrasound on Wednesday definitely confirmed the PCOS diagnosis. Both of my ovaries are polycystic. The NP also thinks that I have either a dermoid cyst or an endometrioma on my right ovary. My doctor came in and also caused pain to figure out where they needed to look during the laparoscopy. Yes, a laparoscopy. Based on my history he thinks that I also have endometriosis. So I should be having the surgery within the next one to two months. I'm very nervous about it because I do not react well the general anesthesia. I think after the surgery is when they are going to decide what course of action they need to take. So right now we just need to get J's SA done and I have to get my glucose tested (because of the PCOS) and I have to make an appointment with the general surgeon that will assist on my lap. Keep your fingers crossed that we are one step closer in our journey ladies!!

Partylite

Do y'all know what Partylite candles are?? They are awesome yummy smelling candles and I have become addicted. I have a friend who hosts candle parties every once in a while and I have to say I have fallen in love. I got this yummy smelling fragrance along with this cute candle holder to go with it. I also got this adorable candle set for Christmas. I got all my stuff today from my friend and I'm so excited, like a kid on Christmas morning. They have tons of cute stuff for Christmas, so I'll probably buy a few things off the website here and there :-)

TTC Update

I continue to be a very bad blogger and I'm sorry. I have missed the input of you ladies, but I promise I have faithfully read your blogs everyday, even if I have not commented. I have tried a few times, but it seems on certain blogs I cannot leave comments (like your blog Kari and I ALWAYS have things to say) anymore. I really do want to be a better blogger so I've decided that I'm going to revamp my blog posts (more to come on that later). Here's some updates on what's been going on with me lately:

I was able to get pregnant for the second time (the cycle right after my chemical). I took 3 internet cheapies and two digitals:



All five came back positive. I went to the clinic the next day to get it confirmed and the test at the clinic came back negative. A few days later I started cramping very badly and bleeding and I knew...another chemical. I was devastated that this could happen twice in a row. I've since come to terms with the second CP and we're trucking through a new cycle currently. I decided to try out soy. I've been reading about it on the TTC boards and I figured it wasn't going to hurt anything, so why not. I'm pretty sure I've already ovulated (a week or so earlier than I had been so that's exciting), but I was pretty bad with temps a few days ago so I'm not sure. I also have a referral to an RE finally, but I've been too chicken to make an appointment. I mean I know I have IF, but it seems actually going to see someone about my fertility is making it real. Like I could pretend everything was fine, but now I have to face it. I'm also scared that there's more wrong than just the PCOS and I'm VERY scared they're going to tell me I'll never be able to have babies. Unfortunately my brain always goes the the worst case scenarios, even if it probably isn't the case.

Mid Year Evaluation

I was looking through my old blog posts and I found the goals that I set for the beginning of the year. I thought I'd evaluate them since 2009 is almost half way gone and I'd see how well I'm progressing.

-I've decided that I need to find a job. I hate feeling like I'm mooching (I know that it's "our" money but I've always been independent financially), but I don't want just any job. I want a job that I feel some sort of satisfaction at so I don't end up job hopping until I'm done with school just because I hate what I do. Check. Lol it is only McDonald's and I don't really get any "job satisfaction" but at least I'm contributing to the cash flowing coming into our household.

-I really want to take a vacation. In a perfect world I would want to travel to another country just because the only one I've ever been to is Canada and I aspire to be a world traveler. But I figure I'll compromise to visit somewhere in the US that I haven't been to yet. So by the end of 2009 I will have gone to Disney World at least once. I figure it's close to home and I've ALWAYS wanted to go there ever since I was a little kid. Disney has a FANTASTIC deal for the military and it's because of this deal that we are going to be able to make this "dream" of mine a reality. We have been saving up and hopefully in October I will get to check this goal off my list. It'll be a fun thing to do around anniversary time.

-Ideally I would like to be debt free by the start of 2010. Unfortunately, we have too much debt for that to be a reality so I'm settling for half the credit card debt paid off. We have approximately $8000 so I figure $4000 paid off is a reasonable goal for a year. Ugh we aren't even going to begin to discuss this one. I am no where close to reaching my goal and I don't think I'll ever be. I wish I could win a million dollars so I would be set.

-I really hate the fact that I rarely get to see my husband because of the Navy. So I've decided that I am going to make the time we have this year the best it can be. When he's home date nights will be instituted again (I'm a real homebody so it's hard for me to want to go out sometimes) and I will try to make sure we're not going to the same places EVERY TIME because it sucks falling into a rut. Okay I am failing miserably at this goal. I am attached to my husband's hip when we're both off work because I can't get enough of the man, but we don't ever do anything. Part of it is we really don't have the money, but still I could make an effort. We rarely go out and when we do it's to the same places. This is my fault (bad Megan) and something I need to work on.

-I also want to be moved out of our apartment. Realistically we're not in a place in our life where we can buy a house, but I at least want to rent one. I want a place for my pups to be able to play (Henry loves being outside) and get the outdoor exposure that they desire. I'm also tired of having people all around me and it would be nice to have a little space. This is not going to happen. This was a big goal of mine so I looked and researched and decided that it just wasn't a possibility. We don't really have the money to do another deposit and another first months rent. We don't have the money to rent a truck to move all our stuff either. Plus after we sign our new lease our rent only goes up ten dollars a month so living here is still pretty cheap. So it's been decided that we'll stay in the apartment another year and we'll reevulate next summer.

3 Year Anniversary

This month marks three years since DH and I decided that we were going to try and have a baby. I have seen MANY people get pregnant and have babies. In fact my friend's baby (she got pregnant the month we started trying) is two now. It just blows my mind that a twenty year old couldn't get pregnant easily, but three years later here I am. It was a very sad cycle for me, but at the same time very informative. I got faint positives on FRER on 10DPO, 11DPO and 12 DPO. Then yesterday morning nothing and I started spotting. This morning I have lovely cramps and AF is here full force. I think it is easier for me to deal with blank FRER than what I've dealt with this month. I thought it was really it. I thought we had done it. But in a way we kinda did right?? Until now I've never even had a chemical pregnancy. So we know that we were preggo even for a BRIEF moment. It gives me hope. So I'm taking the things we did do different (we had sex three days before I ovulated and I layed on my stomach instead of my back because of my inverted uterus) and try again next month.

Catching Up

So much for posting more often, right?? So lets see, what's been going on:

I have a friend who has decided to adopt through the state of Florida. They already have two boys, but her and her husband wants a girl and of course wants to help out a child so their going the adoption route. They are currently going through the classes that Florida requires prospective adoptive and foster parents to take. So to help them out I've been babysitting their boys on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I think it's awesome that they're adopting and it gives me an insight into the adoption process in Florida when we decide to adopt too.

Plus...I got a free bed out of the deal. Her and her husband bought a new king sized mattress set for their bedroom, so they had an extra queen sized mattress set. She gave me the one out of the guest room that has only been used a few times and we got that over to our apartment on Saturday. It has been a GOD SEND!! We had a full sized in their before and it was uncomfortable to sleep because there just was not enough bed. So I have been sleeping a lot better over the last few nights :)

My classes ended last Sunday. I did HORRIBLE!! I lost my motivation and my drive and I just screwed off. I'm kicking myself in the butt now, but hey it's too late to worry about it. I started my new ones today and after that week break I am ready to do fantastic.

The job is going well too. I work about 25-30 hours a week and I love the people I work with. It's not to bad for being a job to get me out of the house.

We might be going to Disneyworld in October. Disneyworld has this deal right now where people serving in the military get a free 5-day ticket and they get up to 5 tickets for family for 99 dollars. I've been waiting to use this until it cools down and our anniversary is in October so I figured it would be a great anniversary trip.

Justin's ship is leaving from the middle of November until the 22nd of December. A WHOLE MONTH!!! This means we won't be able to go home for Christmas. Luckily, we had already planned on not going home. I really want to spend Christmas with just my husband, this just gives me a good excuse to give everyone else.

Oh and I'm 9DPO and of course waiting anxiously to test. BD timing was way off, but there's a slight chance. Definitely do not have my hopes up, but it would be nice :)