TTC Update

I continue to be a very bad blogger and I'm sorry. I have missed the input of you ladies, but I promise I have faithfully read your blogs everyday, even if I have not commented. I have tried a few times, but it seems on certain blogs I cannot leave comments (like your blog Kari and I ALWAYS have things to say) anymore. I really do want to be a better blogger so I've decided that I'm going to revamp my blog posts (more to come on that later). Here's some updates on what's been going on with me lately:

I was able to get pregnant for the second time (the cycle right after my chemical). I took 3 internet cheapies and two digitals:



All five came back positive. I went to the clinic the next day to get it confirmed and the test at the clinic came back negative. A few days later I started cramping very badly and bleeding and I knew...another chemical. I was devastated that this could happen twice in a row. I've since come to terms with the second CP and we're trucking through a new cycle currently. I decided to try out soy. I've been reading about it on the TTC boards and I figured it wasn't going to hurt anything, so why not. I'm pretty sure I've already ovulated (a week or so earlier than I had been so that's exciting), but I was pretty bad with temps a few days ago so I'm not sure. I also have a referral to an RE finally, but I've been too chicken to make an appointment. I mean I know I have IF, but it seems actually going to see someone about my fertility is making it real. Like I could pretend everything was fine, but now I have to face it. I'm also scared that there's more wrong than just the PCOS and I'm VERY scared they're going to tell me I'll never be able to have babies. Unfortunately my brain always goes the the worst case scenarios, even if it probably isn't the case.