Anniversary

I have to say, even though my husband wasn't here, my first anniversary wasn't too bad. I spent most of it being lazy and watching tv in bed. Then my friend called and we went and ran some errands and then went out to dinner with her two boys. Tomorrow we're going to carve pumpkins and go to soccer practice for her oldest. So I had an enjoyable time.

I got my email last night about 11:30 from my husband telling me happy anniversary and that he loved me. So I figured it was 30 minutes off, but I counted it because I knew I wouldn't get one today or for the next few days.

My dogs decided that they were going to tear apart my house while I was gone today. I was gone for like five hours (they usually stay home by themselves longer than that), but when I came home my latest Cosmo was in pieces on the floor and they had messed up the window sill. So now I have to go to Lowes tomorrow to buy paint and wood putty and hope I can hide the boo boo they did. I was so pissed they are STILL in their kennels and when I leave from now on they will probably stay in the kennels. This isn't the first time they've destroyed stuff and it's not like they're not getting enough attention or anything. So I have no idea, but I'm at my wits end with these dogs.

When I checked my email I had an email from my husband's yahoo account. They can only access they're military email on the ship, so I found this kind of strange. Before he left, he did one of those online cards so that way I got a card on our anniversary. I broke down and just started crying. I miss him terribly and I hate that he's gone.

Friday

Okay, there's tons of stuff that happened today so I'm just going to make a list and get it all out because this weekend is going to be busy and I'll probably forget by Sunday night.

1. I went to the doctor today to try to get a referral. She wanted to do the blood work there, which I had no problem with. What made me mad is she is doing the blood work to rule out more serious things, not to verify that I have PCOS. So pretty much as long as it's not anything else I'm just going to be treated for PCOS without anyone verifying that I do have it. That makes me mad!! What if I don't have PCOS, so I'm taking medication for nothing. Then she won't give me a referral so I can get a lap to see if I have endo. So I'm going to end up not getting my problem resolved and we're going to be no where when my husband gets home. I really wanted to be a little ahead so we could start TTC and have a chance. I've waited two years, how much longer am I going to have to wait till we can finally have a baby?

2. I found out today that the ship won't have any email starting the morning of October 27th. That is our one year anniversary and I won't even be able to send my husband an email telling him happy anniversary. I read that and I cried a little. It sucks that for our first year of marriage my husband has been gone half of it and now this.

3. We're going to a corn maze tomorrow!! I'm excited just because I am so tired of sitting at home by myself weekend after weekend. I'm a homebody, but even I have my limits. So watch out for lots of pictures, because I go picture crazy.

Well, it wasn't as much stuff as I thought. But it was important and I needed to get it off my chest.

Waiting

I check my email probably about twenty times a day...A little overkill I know, but I can't help it. I get through my days praying that there will something, anything in that inbox from him. Even if it is one sentence saying how bored he is, it's something!! Those "somethings" don't happen as often now. I know it's not his fault. They're busy, sometimes they don't even have email. That doesn't change the fact that I still check everyday, hoping. Sometimes I get lucky and I get two or three in one day and that can get me through a few days.

Once I even got lucky enough to get a phone call. It was at 4 in the morning on a night that I had actually fell asleep early, but I didn't care...I was so excited. I talked to him in a sleepy haze, just happy to be hearing my husband's voice after an entire month. And now I wait again for another wonderful phone call. My phone never leaves my side and every time it rings my heart leaps because I'm hoping it's him. It never is, but the cycle repeats every time that phone rings.

So now I'm just taking it day by day, waiting to hear from him, waiting for that wonderful day to come that our ship is back home. I have a lot of waiting to do, luckily it's not forever...I just have to go day by day, hour by hour.

Unwanted Guests

You know how you always hear that everything is bigger in Texas?? Ha!! They lie.

I went to go brush my teeth tonight and I found a cockroach about 1 1/2 inches long just sitting in my sink!! And me being hating bugs the way I do freaked out...

Let me explain something first before I continue. About a month ago I had some friends staying with me for a day. I went into the laundry room (which is a fairly large closet in my guest bathroom) to get some fresh sheets and I found a spider that was the size of golf ball circumference (that was legs included) in my sink. I freaked and got a flip flop and killed it, but that wasn't until after all the screaming!!

But these stupid bugs in Florida are huge!! We use to have a lot of bugs in Texas but they were never this big. And the bugs in Florida seem to like the sinks because I never find them anywhere else in my apartment.

So I Drainoed the sucker and shut all the drains in my sinks to make sure I didn't run into anymore unwanted guests in my bathroom sinks!!

School

I originally decided to go to college right out of high school...big mistake for me...My original major was nursing and I HATED it and I was barely scraping by in college. I lasted two years (well technically 1 1/2) just because I was so scared of letting my dad down so I kinda tried. I had no drive and ambition and I...well I just didn't care. It was not a place I thrived and I was miserable. So during my fourth semester of school I quit going and I ended up getting kicked out of school.

Fast forward a few years...

Ever since my husband went into the Navy, I was always jealous. He was doing something good with his life and everyone was proud of and he and I was just the big fat failure. I know that sounds childish, but unfortunately in my family that's how it works. When one of my sisters went into the army it was like she was the golden child all the sudden...and she had spent her childhood being the biggest screw up in our family. Anyways, so I decided I wanted to do something good to, something for everyone to be proud of...so I decided to go back to school.

Since traditional college and I didn't mesh too well, I decided to take a different approach. I looked into University of Phoenix online, liked what I found, and decided to enroll. Now let me tell you I love it!! I only have to take 2 classes every 9 weeks instead of 4-5 for a semester. So I don't feel so overwhelmed with work all the time. I'm taking English which I failed twice at my university and got kicked out of the last time...and (drum roll please)...I have a B!!! I thrive in this environment and I finally feel that I will successfully be able to get through school and get a degree. So watch out, in a few years this girl is going to be educated!!

Today was just a day

Today has been another ordinary day, getting me one day closer to Justin coming home. I went to a meeting with the wives on our ship and of course I volunteered for half the stuff that they needed help with. I guess part of me wants to have busy work, but then part of me wants everyone to like me because I'm an "active" wife. Oh well, it's something to do in between assignments.

I went tonight and got one of those Frosties with M&Ms in it from Wendys. I wanted Sonic, but I waited too long and they were closed. Darn those midnight cravings for ice cream!!

Shortly after I ate my ice cream, I got a dizzy spell. It seems ever since we got down here I've been getting them quite frequently. I think that was my third one and we've been here a month and a half. It was to the point where I was only getting them a couple times a year. It's not something I really want to go to the doctor for. It's something I've dealt with all my life and it's something I've learned to live with. And my fear of doctor's is bigger than the fear something is wrong and I might die. I am such a basket case I know.

At the meeting today they were making fun of me because of nuts...yes nuts. I have this thing where certain types of nuts makes me gag when I eat them. I have the strangest food aversions. But I wouldn't eat this yummy looking cookie because I didn't want to chance there being nuts in it. So now I guess I'm the "weird one" in the group...

Fall Festival

So yesterday I went to this fall festival thing they were having on base. Now normally this is something I WOULD NOT do, but when my friends were telling me about it, I could hear Justin's voice in my head telling me "Do it babe. You need to get out of the house more."

So I went...

It really wasn't that bad. There was a lot of people, well at least to me. Okay it was really kinda lame, it was geared towards people with kids...and I have no kids. But I dealt with it because I wanted to pretend to be social.

My friend decided she wanted to get caricatures done. We stood in that line for TWO HOURS!! Another lady I knew got into line behind us with her two year old daughter. Now normally because of the whole baby thing I don't like having little kids around me, but I fell in love with this beautiful blond haired girl.

When I finally sat in the chair to get my picture done I really wished I hadn't. I hate people staring at me and the guy looks at you with this intense gaze. I understand that he's an artist and he's just trying to make you're picture look like you but it still creeped me out. And he drew my boobs, so I know he had to stare at them for just a second...

Life So Far

So Justin's ship has been gone for about a month and a half now. I'm doing a lot better than I thought I would be. When he was going through boot camp I was a mess and I thought it would never end. Luckily this first month flew by. Part of me wants him back home but then part of me likes the fact that I don't have to deal with him.

Is that wrong of me to feel that way?

I finally took myself to the doctor last week...

For those of you who don't know we've been TTC for two years with a 6 month break for Navy stuff. For those two years I have had extremely irregular cycles, but I have a fear of doctors so I couldn't bring myself to go.

Well, I finally went and what she told me didn't shock me. I had prepared myself and I knew what she was going to say. I was told there's a possibility that i have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and maybe Endometriosis. I have to go back and get blood work done and tests done so that way I have it somewhat under control when Justin comes back.

Unfortunately, we're military so with our health care you have to have a referral to go to any doctor off base. So now I'm waiting for my appointment with my Primary Care Manager to plead my case for that blessed referral to go get all those tests done. I hate having to explain things to people, I get flustered. I just hope this goes smoothly and she willingly gives me that referral.

So for now I'm waiting for AF to show so I can begin birth control to regulate myself. I'm excited to have normal periods again. How many females will tell you they're excited to have a period?? Lol...