Miscarriage

Two days before I left OKC to come back home my mom and I went out shopping to try to find her some more nice outfits that she could wear to her site visits (my mom is in pharmacy school and they have to go to different pharmacies to get different pharmacy experiences). As we pulled into the parking lot of the shopping center her phone rang.

I could only hear her side of the conversation but after a few minutes of listening I knew who she was talking to and who they were talking about and my heart sunk.

After my mom got off the phone I didn't even give her a chance to tell me what happened.

"K had a miscarriage."

She didn't even have to tell me I knew.

My cousin was pregnant with her second child. I guess when she hit 10 or 11 weeks the baby stopped growing. 3 weeks later my cousin started bleeding and so her mom took her to the emergency room where they told her she had lost the baby.

I actually wrote about this cousin back in November. She already has one baby who is nine months old and for a long time she was on welfare. She's a wonderful mother to her son but I didn't feel she was prepared to have another.

I cried the day I found out she lost her baby. I felt horrible because I held ill feelings towards her because I felt it wasn't fair. We try so hard to have a baby and my cousin is a "fertile mertile." She's one of my best friends and I was MAD at her for not being more careful.

So I cried for not being more supportive and being selfish by wallowing in my self pity longer than I should have.